6 Steps To Resolving A Band Conflict

One of the most difficult things in life is to keep everyone happy in a band. In most situations, you're playing together because of the music that you collectively make, not because you're friends. That can lead to a number of personality clashes that will need to be resolved, or else you'll find the band folding right before your eyes. Here's an excerpt from How To Make Your Band Sound Great (the band improvement book) that covers the 6 steps in resolving a band conflict.

"Being in any relationship requires at least some compromise and a band is no different from what you’d expect between family, friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, wives, husbands, bosses and co-workers.  There are times where you just have to bend in order to keep the peace.  

While compromise is easy for some people, others have a personality that would never allow it and a conflict occurs. Here are some effective steps that you can take to state your case in a way that should resolve the conflict.

1. Cool off first - Conflicts can’t be solved when emotions are running hot. Take some time to get away from the problem for a bit and brainstorm on exactly what the problem is, how it was caused, and most important, a possible solution.

2. Present accolades, support and respect - The first thing to do is acknowledge the person’s accomplishments and talent. Something like, “I want to start by saying that I think the band has never been better since you joined and the parts that you’re singing are way better than I ever expected.”  

3. Analysis of why the problem occurred - If you give a clear explanation of why you think there’s a problem or why the problem or conflict has occurred, you set the initial groundwork for solving the conflict. If the other person knows exactly what your side of the story is, you might find more often than not that you’re both on the same page, but on different sides of it.

4. Take responsibility and use “I” messages - If you have a part in a conflict that you’re aware of, take responsibility and own up to it, but make sure that everything is from your point of view. For instance, it’s best to say, “I think you were really flat on that part,” rather than “Everybody knows that you always sing that part flat,” or worse, “You’re singing sucks, man.”

5. Describe what I or we need so the problem doesn’t happen again - This is the solution from your point of view. “We really need you to be here ten minutes before rehearsal so you have time to set up. That way we can get our full rehearsal in, which we really need right now.”

6. Support their success - Tell him that you want him to win to, because if he wins, so do you. “The better you sound, the better we all sound,” or “Do you know how great we’re going to sound once you get that part down? We’re going to kill!”

To read additional excerpts from How To Make Your Band Sound Great and other books, go to the excerpt section of bobbyowsinski.com.

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Follow me on Forbes for some insights on the new music business.

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The Secret To Getting Booked

Here's an excerpt from How To Make Your Band Sound Great that talks about the secret to getting your band booked. The part I'm quoting was not written by me, but by a long-time club booker/musician in Memphis, who's seen it all.

"The following was in a widely circulated email that went around the music community. It’s from Memphis promoter Chris Walker who explains both how to get gigs, and more importantly, how not to get them. If you want the hard cold facts about club gigs for acts with original music, read on.

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'From a 17 year vet: How to not get your band booked! 

I've had many many jobs in my life, from removing asbestos to strip club DJ to pizza delivery to unloading aircraft, but the one thing I've done and never stopped doing was booking concerts. When I say "job," that would infer that I get paid to do that "job.” 

Booking concerts very infrequently pays but I'm addicted to music and have been ever since my big brother gave me my first record, Destroyer by Kiss. I learned a long time ago that if I don't book the bands I like...they ain't coming. Over one thousand concerts and 17 years later of bringing bands to Memphis, I'd say I know EXACTLY how to get a band booked into any venue in the world. I didn't say I could get people to show up...I just said I could get it booked. 

I've been on all sides of the live concert equation. I've been the promoter. I've been in the local band. I've been in the touring band. I've been the patron. I've been the sound guy. I've been the bartender. I've been the door guy. I've been the janitor. I've even been the groupie. So there isn't an angle I haven't seen. 

Now...

You've got a band. You've got 30-60 minutes of music to play live and you want to hit the stage. Any stage. Hell, a floor. As long as it's a public place and you can get away with charging people to hear live music. Getting a show in your hometown isn't all that difficult. Most venues know that as long as you're local and especially if it's your first show, all your band members girlfriends, friends, and family will probably show up for your first show. I've booked plenty of kids bands on their first show and they usually draw well with decent bar sales. If you're worth a shit, they'll continue to come out. If not, those friends and family will drop like flies to future performances. 

Now about playing shows out of town.... 

Allow me to put things in the venue's point of view. When you're trying to book your band out of town, ask yourself this very very very very very very (x100) important question: 

HOW MUCH MONEY WILL THE VENUE MAKE IF WE PLAY THERE?????? 

Musicians hate that money actually comes into the equation.  In major markets, there are venues that make unproven bands buy 'x' amount of tickets to get a show. The band in turn then sells the tickets to their friends, family, whoever. The Milwaukee Metal Fest survived for years doing this. The response is: "Pay to play sucks, dude. It's bullshit." What no one seems to realize is that live music is always a pay to play proposition. It's just that it’s the venue that has to pay. A mid-size music-only venue in Memphis usually has a nut of about $3K to $5K to cover monthly. I will not list the expenses here but the fact that it's a long list should prove my point. Almost all of the venues in Memphis that I know of don't take anything out of the door for the venue itself except to pay the door guy and sound guy and maybe security if necessary, so that leaves the bar to cover that monthly nut. Risky business, eh?

Truth be told...if your band isn't on a record label, the best way you're going to get a gig out of town is to trade shows with some band in whatever city you're looking to play. MySpace is perfect for this. However, make sure that the out of town band you're trying to contact sets up said show for you. Odds are that band already knows people at the venue and has already played there a few times. 

Here's some perspective. The following bands have drawn right at or less than 100 people in Memphis: 

Queens Of The Stone Age (this was after their 2nd major label release with massive radio airplay complete with commercial spots that we bought. The station gave away 20 tickets....3 of the 20 showed up.) 

Morbid Angel 

Jeff Buckley 

Deicide 

Southern 

Culture On The Skids 

There are a ton more, but you get the idea. Why do you think, if these bands can't even break 100 people, you can make it worth the venues time to book you?'

That email is an eye-opener.  If you’re a band with original material, heed what it says and you’ll find you’ll get a lot more gigs.  If you’re a cover band, many of the same things apply but remember the big one - bring some people so the club can make money."

The email goes on for quite a bit longer and has lots of great information. There's actually an additional excerpt today over on my Big Picture music production blog today.

If you want to read more excerpts from How To Make Your Band Sound Great and other books, check out the excerpts page at bobbyowsinski.com.

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Help support this blog. Any purchases made through our Amazon links help support this website with no cost to you.

Follow me on Forbes for some insights on the new music business.

You should follow me on Twitter for daily news and updates on production and the music business.

Check out my Big Picture blog for discussion on common music, engineering and production tips and tricks.

How To Get Your Band Booked

You want to get your band gigs, right? You don’t know how to do it, right? Here’s an excerpt from the “Stage Time” chapter of the band improvement book “How To Make Your Band Sound Great” that gives you the inside scoop on the things that club promoters love and hate the most to help you get your band booked. Although the following (which originally came from Memphis promoter Chris Walker) pertains mostly to bands that play their own music, there are a few items for cover bands to think about as well.

"First of all, most bands will put a press package together to give to a promoter, booker or club owner and most of them make the same mistakes. Here are the things that a promoter or booker does not care about:

• Who you've opened for or played on a bill with. Nobody cares. Opening for someone famous doesn’t automatically mean that you’re any good. It’s only name dropping.

• Who produced your record. Once again, this is not an indicator of the quality of your band. If the producer’s really good, he could’ve easily tweaked or sweetened a mediocre performance or even brought in session musicians. And he could've been paid a bunch of money to do it, so his presence on the project doesn't amount to an endorsement.

• How well you do in your hometown. You might have a lot of friends that like to hang out with you but it doesn’t mean that they’ll follow you when you play farther away from your home base or out of town. It also doesn’t mean that you can draw anywhere else.

• Press clippings. You wouldn't send out negative reviews, would you? Of course not. No talent buyer looks at press clippings because they all know what they're going to say. "This band is wonderful. Coldplay, watch out!"

• How good you are. Of course you think you're good. Your music is probably your life. Guess what? It's just another band setting up and making a racket to the club staff. Hard to believe, isn't it?

• What you sound like. The only reason the venue cares what you sound like is because they don't want to mismatch music genres or book the wrong type of music altogether. Other than that, they don’t care.

Nothing listed above answers the most important question a talent buyer has, which is: HOW MUCH MONEY WILL THE VENUE MAKE IF YOU PLAY HERE?

Always ask yourself that question when approaching a talent buyer regarding a show. Of course, the answer is to draw a crowd. You’ve got to draw some people or your gigging life will be over. Beg your friends to show up. Facebook the heck out of your show. If the venue can count on you bringing 20 to 40 people a show, you'd be amazed how often people will ask you to play.

So what do you have to do to get gigs? Try the following:

• Develop a draw in your hometown. That means you should play about once every month to 6 weeks. Don't play too much more than that since overexposure will kill your crowd, and you need your crowd to keep coming so you keep getting asked back.

• If you haven't left your hometown and you don't have a record, your only hope is to trade shows. Why develop a draw at home? So you can trade shows with bands from out of town. Just be sure the band you're trading shows with has a draw in their hometown. Check that city's music message boards. Use the many avenues of the internet. It's your only hope.

• Be your own promoter. Actually save up your own money and book as big an artist as you can afford in the club you want to play, then stick yourself on the bill. It's a perfect way to find out if you're worth your salt."

If you want to get gigs (and who doesn't), keep the above items in mind before you spin your wheels trying the same old things that everyone tries to get gigs.

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Help support this blog. Any purchases made through our Amazon links help support this website with no cost to you.

You should follow me on Twitter for daily news and updates on production and the music business.

Check out my Big Picture blog for discussion on common music, engineering and production tips and tricks.

Music 3.0 Interview on Musiciancoaching.com

Check out the interview I did with Rick Goetz for his musiciancoaching.com blog. The interview covers both my How To Make Your Band Sound Great and Music 3.0 books.

You can find the interview here entitled What Is Music 3.0?

Thanks, Rick, for taking an interest in a little of what I do.

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Follow me on Twitter for daily news and updates on production and the music business.

Check out my Big Picture blog for discussion on common music, engineering and production tips and tricks.