Tuesday, February 5, 2013

You Might Be A Spammer If.....

spam
I just love this one. I've been collecting items for the "You might be a spammer if....." list for a while, and since I've been inundated with unwanted email lately, now is the time to post.

Like you, I hate spam. I don't mind being solicited, but don't hit me with the same thing over and over (that's spam). Here's the list.

You might be a spammer if:
  • you send me something in a language I don't understand.
  • everything you tweet, post or email is an ad to buy your music/book/art etc.
  • all of your links are to your shopping cart or affiliates.
  • your email is nothing but an add for your newest album/book/project.
  • you send something "fascinating" that you've found to people you don't know.
  • you send an unsolicited email with your music attached.
  • you send a press release to people who aren't journalists. 
  • you send a holiday e-card.
  • you buy lists.
  • more people unsubscribe than open your email.
  • you're afraid to include your name and number in your newsletter.
  • you're a 3 person company but have enough telecommunications and Internet equipment to power Norway.
  • you're forced to keep all of your company's assets in the Cayman Islands.
  • your ISP has quietly engaged a hit man to eliminate you, and your mother has contributed funds to the contract.
Some of these were funny, but most are dead serious. No one likes a spammer. Don't do it.


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